Kids and Competitive Sports

A topic that comes up a lot in my life is kids and competition. There seems to be two camps and I see both within my job as a dance studio owner and also as a mom. There are the ultra competitive families who are in it to win at all costs and there are those who just want their kids to have fun. That second group often wants to compete as well but they want to do it for fun…sometimes I even wonder if it’s just for the prestige of saying they or their children are competitive athletes….

Competition just for fun? Sure it’s fun but I believe there has to be more to it than that.

When I started running, I knew instantly that I would race. It wasn’t even a question in my mind. The major reason I enter races is because I need to feel that I am in a constant competitive state with myself in order to improve. Every race has as a goal to beat a previous race time. Nothing else. Yes it’s fun, yes it’s exciting but there is a purpose. The purpose is become a better runner with every step I take. Running is a competition against myself but without the competitive environment of a racing, I believe it would be so much harder for me to improve.

In terms of my dance students I believe it should be the same. If you are going to be in any competitive sport, dance or otherwise, it should be because you have as a goal to achieve your absolute best. And that takes WORK. Serious hard core work. Work means sacrifice and sacrifice is not always fun. However the results are :)


I once had a client who told me that when her children were young she felt that they weren’t naturally competitive enough. They didn’t seem to strive to be the best they could be in anything. Knowing the best way to lead is by example, she took matters into her own hands. She signed up for a triathlon. Just like that. A triathlon. She had been athletic in high school but now she was a regular mom with a job and 3 kids. She began the training and had her kids watch as much as possible as she ran around her neighborhood, swam laps in her pool and biked everywhere. She even found the previous year’s winner online and showed her kids the winning time to beat.The kids timed her, encouraged her and were there at the finish line cheering her on. She was so determined that she even made the podium at the race. She wanted to show her kids that as much as anything is possible, it also takes a serious amount of hard work to achieve something big.

My client told me this story backstage at a dance competition moments before her daughter was to go onstage. Her daughter was by far one of the most naturally competitive kids I have ever taught. This lovely little girl also had a brother who was a competitive hockey player and a sister who was a competitive swimmer. All three kids were academically competitive and successful as well. It was amazing to see how the experience of watching their mom train and compete in a triathlon years before had really shaped their outlook on life.

This is what it comes down to….hoping and wishing for good luck do not bring success. Incredibly hard work and pushing yourself to your limits do. Competition is a good thing for everyone because it pushes you to be the best you can be. I really believe that if children learn to be competitive in sports at an early age, they will carry that through into their adult lives and careers. However they also need to be taught that being competitive is not always going to be fun and games and actually that is the most important part of the lesson.

I found my client’s story to be incredibly inspirational. It is the reason I want my kids to see me run and be there at every finish line that I cross. I want them to know that it takes hard work but that the rewards of being competitive in sports or anything else are what give you the results and ultimately the life you want. When my children are a little older and they find something they love to do, I will wholeheartedly encourage them to pursue it competitively in order for them to learn what I believe to be are some very valuable life lessons.

What’s your take on kids and competition? 

#GoRunnerGo  :)


  1. says

    I couldn’t agree more that our success is directly proportional to the work we dedicate to a task. It is no different for our kids. I think we do our kids a huge disservice by giving them all a medal no matter what they do or how well they do it. I want to see our kids pushing themselves and learning how amazing it feels to achieve success based on their own merit <3

  2. says

    As a pediatric exercise specialist with years of working with children and adolescents, what I recognize as being the most important is not pushing any particular activity on kids, but ensuring they have ample opportunities for free and organized play – of all different types – and they decide what they want to do. But the expectation is that they choose SOMETHING so that they get themselves out of the house, learning physical and social skills.

    Not every person is competitive (and that is ok) and it is EXTREMELY important to recognize that and to validate the type of personality children have so that they can find the right activity for their personality. Pushing them into a genre that does not suit their personality usually leads to them avoiding activity altogether. Just because a parent enjoys competition, does not mean their offspring will. It’s important that that parent recognize and accept that and nurture the skills and individual personality their child has.

  3. says

    My son plays competitive high level hockey and this is a dedication more from parents than anything else!! It’s hard work. It’s amazing that you are such an an example to your children. Good for you. Great post.

    • says

      Thanks so much Chrissy! Competitive hockey is a HUGE commitment for parents for sure. I’ve heard it’s the scheduling that’s really hard…never knowing till the last minute about the next game. Good for you for making it work for your son. I’m sure he’s a superstar! 😉

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